I came, I saw, I conquered... Aaaand now I'm depressed.

Writing is a Thing I Love(TM), but sometimes it doesn't eclipse all of the depressing things I have to deal with each day.

*twitch*

Even my success in this year's NaNoWriMo wasn't sufficient to overcome all of the downers gnawing at me over Thanksgiving. The combination of leftovers, NaNo success and coffee did give me some pleasure, but I need another project to buoy me from this completion until I can begin editing the ugly first draft of my cyberpunk novel.

Such is my life, and mine alone. I know some of my friends suffer minor and major versions of the same, but it always tends to accelerate for me as the year winds down.

*Head spins and evil laughter echoes from somewhere around*

Since you are still here, I will tell you a secret. It is the early exuberance for the season that affects me the most. Stores weren't satisfied enough with Black Friday. They dug into my Thursday as well. Radio stations began blaring carols and other assorted reprehensible audible attacks on music before the turkey had even been procured. Knowing this, I know that I will arrive at critical mass even earlier this year.

*Shakes violently*

This is not a cheerful thought. I was concerned for the safety of those surrounding me last year. They now have no hope of escaping the piece of my mind that will be forcefully ejected from my cake hole should they try their false cheerfulness on me this season.

Be warned advanced merry makers. I already have plans to eviscerate you in the written word. I shall add characters to this miserable tale as you proceed in your destruction of The Season Formerly Known As My Favorite. I will feast upon the tears of false savings and poorly executed christmas music.

*shakes head to clear the fog* Wha? What happened? I blacked out there for a moment.

Did I tell you, I won NaNoWriMo?

Oh, OK. I'll talk to you later, I guess.

*Wanders off*

~JFo

Forgive me Fellow Writers, for I have sinned...

It has been... months since I last kept track of my daily word count.

I know it sounds simple. Some might not understand. It was once important to me to keep track of how many words I produced each day. The task, I felt, focused too much on manufacturing. "KEEP WRITING, YOU NEED TO SHOW IMPROVEMENT FROM YESTERDAY!", my ego shouted. For many days, weeks and months I listened. I only stopped when I came to the realization that it was being kept track of for the wrong reasons. I wasn't writing because I wanted to write something, I was writing because I had a number to surpass. So I stopped.

I left off worrying about how many words I was writing daily. I started back in my daily idea generation. I started writing short, flashy fiction(not slashy). I started fleshing out my older story ideas that had grown on me over the years. I forced myself to realize that I need to stop talking about it and start editing my old first drafts. I made myself start reading up on editing. I planned three book stories. Lastly, I have been writing one of them for NaNoWriMo... and that was when I remembered word counting.

I know. I have fallen back on some old ways. I've improved them. I have rediscovered where they fit in my writing life. I also remember that word counts are not, and should not be, a replacement for doing good work no matter how many words you produce. Sometimes less is more, and I have to keep that in mind.

I WILL start back keeping track of my count, but I will only do so for posterity. I think that is one of a few things I can take away from my NaNoWriMo experience. I'll expand on the others in a separate post.

I will now go and say five Wendig's Beards and five Our Muses in penance.

Keep Writing!

~JFo

*the above catholic references are in no way meant as sacrilege. I make-a da funny. If you no like-a da funny, say so in the comments.

The First Rule of Write Club...

... is that you MUST talk about Write Club. The second rule of Write Club is Rinse, Repeat. Wait. What? No, it is the same as the first. Everyone knows that. The problems begin at Rule 3: When entering Edit Club, you must focus only on your opponent.

While you are still technically in Write Club, you have entered the arena and must now fight. Fighters don't talk, they fight. While fighting they don't do blog posts, tweets or LOL around on Facebook. They focus on the work ahead and they fight as if their lives depended on it. The mechanics of an actual fight are much the same as in editing(Unless you are street fighting AND THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT!). In Edit Club there can be any number of rounds. The biggest difference here is in way the time frame is handled, and the fact that rounds, in this conversation, is not referring to drinks. Sad, I know.

The break between Edit Club rounds can take as long as needed for you to recover from each gruelling battle(and some will be gruelling). You will be victorious only if you allow yourself that time to recover. You can even fight completely different battles with new opponents before finishing that first fight. Edit Club won't judge you as long as you continue fighting.

My next opponents

Before you ask, Yes, those are my glasses. I look really great in them, OK? Those are also 2 first drafts I have been avoiding for months because I knew I needed to tear them limb from limb. I was trying to be the bigger person, but they've been talking trash. What was I saying? Oh, right, I think of these battles the same way Basic Training was described by my Drill Sergeants, "They MUST be broken before they can be made stronger". And I will break them. I must, I have a deadline for it. Hang on, they're going to get stronger, AND I have to fight them again?! *Sigh* Well, I guess it's what I signed on for.

So, if you don't see me online, and if you don't get a response to your e-mail/tweet/Facebook post in what you consider a timely fashion, just cheer for me in my fight. Fear not. I shall overcome. I will not be defeated. The only defeat is to give up this life, and we know that ain't happenin', baby.

CHUCK WENDIG!!!! Wow, I just had a Rocky moment.

~JFo

Lines, Deadlines and Self-loathing

I know I need to set date/time group restrictions to complete my backlog of work. I just don't want to!

 *temper tantrum* Deep breath *

I understood this before I even began writing for pleasure. That was a long time ago. I was eleven. I am thirty-five now. I must have held on to some hope that it would be forgotten or fall out of style. Well, it didn't.

I have always known that this is a self-help issue, but I still resisted with all of my might, much like a horse might while being dragged from a burning barn. Well, no more, I must do this FOR GREAT JUSTICE! If I don't, I won't get anything done.

I have much to do

Those are the books I have in various states of planning. There are twenty items in there One of those is the place where I put completed first drafts. Now I just need to make myself do that first major edit. I've given myself until the end of October to do a major revision of one of the four drafts in that directory. Te act of editing is going to be a massive learning experience for me since it represents the first time I've had to edit something this size after writing it. It will also represent my first time doing this level of work toward selling anything. Yes, I said it, I will be looking for an agent. My goal is to have a manuscript together by the end of the year that I am willing to let professionals see. Please note, I didn't refer to it as finished or completed. One of the things reinforced for me over the weekend was the fact that nothing is ever really complete. We must take the leap and let our pet projects and beloved stories go. The hope is that they will get the help they need to be truly great. It is this last point that allows me to consider dressing something up for those willing to help further improve my work. I have a deadline to be actively seeking representation by the end of the year. That is not to say I will locate one in that time, but I think that type of deadline will work for now.

The more strident restrictions come from those editing and writing deadlines I mentioned previously.  There are many bad habits to break. I hope these self-imposed restrictions prove to be a good start.

I have to go now. I hear my new deadlines calling me.

~JFo


P.S. Read This. http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2012/10/no-more-mister-nice-guy/ READ IT!! It is by the author of The Legend of Bagger Vance