NaNoWriMo… What to do, what to do?

I find myself in the midst of an interesting conundrum. I have a wonderful idea for a book that I have been holding onto (much like so many other ideas) for the better part of two years. I would LOVE to work out a zero draft during NaNo, and I have done all of the footwork and interpretive dance necessary to prepare for that. 

There is but one thing holding me back from following through on that lofty goal, and that is the cyberpunk/cyber-fantasy book I have been working on the past while. I wrote a first draft of it for last year's NaNo and I let it sit a good long time. Sure, I worked on other projects in the intervening time. I jotted notes to enhance the possibilities available for when I finally sat down to edit. I learned a lot about myself and the characters I chose for the story. I learned that they are very different from how I imagined them during that long ago pantsless draft. I took more notes. I plotted. I planned. Things in the original idea shifted. Things thought since then fell into their proper place. I like the way it is going… Let's be clear. THIS STORY HAS ME ON LOCKDOWN. I can't think past it. There are more bits of my characters coming to me. There is research needed. Story is beginning to peek out and it has me focused.

All of that leads me to believe that I will not be able to participate in NaNoWriMo in a conventional sense. I'll still take the time to write everyday as if I am headed toward that end goal, because I really am. I write every day. It isn't always a beautiful line for a book. Sometimes it is very badly stated statements or questions about what is to come in a story. Other times it is a horrific bit of poetry to force my mind to get back on track, but the fact is I write ALL of the time. 

It is GREAT to focus on a draft for NaNo. It is also GREAT to be stuck completely to something from the year before. I won't put it toward a win this year, but I think the best use of my time, right now, is to get the story that is begging me to tell it out on paper where it can be refined. Anything else I do right now would lessen the ardor that I have vibrating through me for the work I hope it will become. I WANT my characters to be fully fleshed. I WANT them to show me how they react to the situations I put in front of them. I WANT them to grow and change before my eyes into the people I know they can be. I WANT to share them with you, and the only way I can see that happening is if I stick by them. They're going through some pretty rough times right now. I'll do my best to make their story worthy of them. I'll make sure you can understand them even if you decide that you don't like them. I promise to devote as much time as needed for them to tell you their story. 

I am excited for you to hear it from their own mouths. I am thrilled that, one day, you might see it in your mind's eye. I am floored by the possibility that you will like it, but right now, I need to focus on what they need from me. I can't do that if I am forcing myself away from them right when it seems I am needed the most.

I hope you will understand when I say that they give me hope. It is for that reason alone that I am willing to set aside my plans for NaNoWriMo this year. My heart is with them. My head is with them. What kind of friend could I be to them if my hands were not theirs as well? 

~JFo

I came, I saw, I conquered... Aaaand now I'm depressed.

Writing is a Thing I Love(TM), but sometimes it doesn't eclipse all of the depressing things I have to deal with each day.

*twitch*

Even my success in this year's NaNoWriMo wasn't sufficient to overcome all of the downers gnawing at me over Thanksgiving. The combination of leftovers, NaNo success and coffee did give me some pleasure, but I need another project to buoy me from this completion until I can begin editing the ugly first draft of my cyberpunk novel.

Such is my life, and mine alone. I know some of my friends suffer minor and major versions of the same, but it always tends to accelerate for me as the year winds down.

*Head spins and evil laughter echoes from somewhere around*

Since you are still here, I will tell you a secret. It is the early exuberance for the season that affects me the most. Stores weren't satisfied enough with Black Friday. They dug into my Thursday as well. Radio stations began blaring carols and other assorted reprehensible audible attacks on music before the turkey had even been procured. Knowing this, I know that I will arrive at critical mass even earlier this year.

*Shakes violently*

This is not a cheerful thought. I was concerned for the safety of those surrounding me last year. They now have no hope of escaping the piece of my mind that will be forcefully ejected from my cake hole should they try their false cheerfulness on me this season.

Be warned advanced merry makers. I already have plans to eviscerate you in the written word. I shall add characters to this miserable tale as you proceed in your destruction of The Season Formerly Known As My Favorite. I will feast upon the tears of false savings and poorly executed christmas music.

*shakes head to clear the fog* Wha? What happened? I blacked out there for a moment.

Did I tell you, I won NaNoWriMo?

Oh, OK. I'll talk to you later, I guess.

*Wanders off*

~JFo

Forgive me Fellow Writers, for I have sinned...

It has been... months since I last kept track of my daily word count.

I know it sounds simple. Some might not understand. It was once important to me to keep track of how many words I produced each day. The task, I felt, focused too much on manufacturing. "KEEP WRITING, YOU NEED TO SHOW IMPROVEMENT FROM YESTERDAY!", my ego shouted. For many days, weeks and months I listened. I only stopped when I came to the realization that it was being kept track of for the wrong reasons. I wasn't writing because I wanted to write something, I was writing because I had a number to surpass. So I stopped.

I left off worrying about how many words I was writing daily. I started back in my daily idea generation. I started writing short, flashy fiction(not slashy). I started fleshing out my older story ideas that had grown on me over the years. I forced myself to realize that I need to stop talking about it and start editing my old first drafts. I made myself start reading up on editing. I planned three book stories. Lastly, I have been writing one of them for NaNoWriMo... and that was when I remembered word counting.

I know. I have fallen back on some old ways. I've improved them. I have rediscovered where they fit in my writing life. I also remember that word counts are not, and should not be, a replacement for doing good work no matter how many words you produce. Sometimes less is more, and I have to keep that in mind.

I WILL start back keeping track of my count, but I will only do so for posterity. I think that is one of a few things I can take away from my NaNoWriMo experience. I'll expand on the others in a separate post.

I will now go and say five Wendig's Beards and five Our Muses in penance.

Keep Writing!

~JFo

*the above catholic references are in no way meant as sacrilege. I make-a da funny. If you no like-a da funny, say so in the comments.